reverb Monthly Prompt – March

Posted by Stereo on March 4, 2011

20 Comments

The wonderful people at reverb10 have sent their manna-like prompt to my inbox and although it arrived yesterday morning, I have been too busy (read: distracted) by other things (patches of sunlight in London, my terribly painful foot and my lack of willpower when it comes to chocolate).

I only managed to take out time to think about it and how I wanted to respond to it yesterday evening.

The prompt itself is a little sad and could inspire feelings of melancholy and elicit perhaps unwelcome thoughts and reminisces.

I turned it on its head. It’s a thought-provoking prompt and one that makes me realise, when I actually follow the instructions and really use my imagination, just how much certain people and things mean to me and how little others do too.

If March 2011 was your last month to live, how would you live it?

Well…

Mister - isn't he just panty-droppingly gorgeous?

«« I’d marry this guy in an instant.

I wouldn’t think about it, agonise over it, spend my time looking for the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect music. The perfect music is the sound of his laughter. The perfect dress would be whatever I was wearing when I said “I do”. The perfect flowers would be those in my hand that I would have scooped from whichever passing meadow.

This is Mister and he is my heart.

I’d marry him on a beach somewhere or perhaps in a field. It wouldn’t be gaudy, it wouldn’t be stuffy and the people with us would be our families and perhaps a smattering of close friends. I don’t expect I would too much care. The only face I’d see would be his anyway.

And then we’d honeymoon for a time. Pack our bags and step on a plane and take off into that azure blanket that is the sky. I’d stand on white sand and in aquamarine oceans. I’d take huge, grateful lungfuls of tropical flowers that don’t grow through the cracks in the grey London concrete. I’d point at things; buildings, animals, signposts that I’d never seen before and I’d do it all with him. I’d hold his hand and explore, each step bringing us a little further on the last adventure we’d take.

We’d come back of course, before my time was up and I would spend a little more time having him read to me in that voice that quells my panic and tames my freakouts and soothes my pain. I’d spend a few nights tucking my ice cold feet between his perpetually warm ones and drinking in his smell. I’d gorge myself on his words, on his smile, on his presence. And, at those ludicrous times of morning when he wakes up because he’s weird and his body clock is haywire, I wouldn’t bundle up in the duvet and mutter that he’s crazy, I would wake up with him and potter about the house with him or go for a walk with him or perform Tibetan chants with him or whatever the hell it is he does at those ungodly times of day.

I would tell him every last thing about me; everything because even though he knows pretty much everything about me, there are still some things that stick in my throat, that I find hard to say because I’ve convinced myself that they are too imperfect to be accepted. I would sing to him and let him cop a few more feels because I think that makes him happy.

There are other things I would do, of course.

I would empty my bank accounts and squander my savings on things that might seem impractical right now. I would write letters to my family and let them know that they are the foundations that keep me from crumbling. I would take out the time to sprinkle thank yous like fairy dust over the lives of everyone I owe something to.

I would eat without scrutinising calories. Tipping candy and Krispy Kremes into my shopping cart without a second thought. I might leave the earth overweight but I’d leave it with a smile – a sugar encrusted smile.

I’d immerse myself in words and in pictures and in love.

I’d make sure my friends knew how much they meant to me.

I’d sit with my dad and ask him not be sad after I’d gone; kiss his cheek and hold his hand and make him laugh. I’d bottle that laugh and keep it close to my heart.

I’d envelope my mum in hugs and promise to visit her in her dreams.

But mostly, I would assume sponge status and soak up every last little bit of Mister that I could. Because I love him with an intensity that takes my breath away. Because he has made my life shinier and a little more yellow. Because he looks at me and doesn’t see excess weight and past surgeries to correct intestinal defects. Because he fuses his dreams with mine and my happiness is paramount for him. Because he waited to say “I love you” until he was certain that it was something that wouldn’t fade.

And that’s because six years down the line, my stomach still leaps when I see him.

Who wouldn’t want a month full of little leaps?

20 Comments

• 
  Brandee March 4, 2011 at 16:26

  I have no words. THIS is what the prompt was for. I am literally sitting here with tears in my eyes, fervently glad that you are not left with a month to live. The world would be a much more desolate place without you.

  (And it’s nice to meet Mister, too.)

  Brandee

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  mark March 4, 2011 at 16:31

  Hell yeah….This is a Massive Win.

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  Bob D. March 4, 2011 at 16:49

  Awesome! And yes, you two make a gorgeous couple.

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  amanda March 4, 2011 at 16:52

  What a wonderful post – and what a CUTE Mister!!

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  mwendelezi March 4, 2011 at 17:12

  you are going to publish a book/books one day, right? pretty please? your writing makes me happy.

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  Rita March 4, 2011 at 19:22

  I can barely see, to type this, through the tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. This is heartachingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your love for mister with us…and the one thing I did see clearly, very clearly, before the tears started, was just how HOT your mister is. xx

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  dominique March 4, 2011 at 20:19

  mister is pretty gorgeous, cannot even front on that count. you gots yourself a hottie.

  also, as usual, beautiful. i have learned that no love is perfect but yours sounds as close as it comes. lucky girl – you deserve it.

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  Kim March 4, 2011 at 21:46

  Oh, my heart. Yes, this is exactly what I hoped you would write. And probably very similar to how I’d spend my last month, too, except I would never come back to this frozen place.

  And as an old married lady I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to even notice the slab of man on this page. And yet.

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  Shannon March 4, 2011 at 22:45

  Breathtaking. I am crying right now. You are simply stunning. xo

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• 
  Brooke Farmer March 4, 2011 at 23:28

  Beautifully written, but how did I miss out on the fact that there are now monthly prompts being sent to inboxes????

  I feel excluded. Sadface.

  But really, beautifully written.

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• 
  Aba March 5, 2011 at 00:44

  That was absolutely beautiful.

  “Panty-droppingly gorgeous” is a wonderfully hilarious phrase, and indeed it does quite suit him.

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  lgesin March 5, 2011 at 04:00

  You are blessed, woman, and not just with an phenomenal “mister”! You made this prompt joyous and full of promise.

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  Roxanne March 5, 2011 at 22:03

  Hello from a fellow reverb10er. I wanted to thank you for infusing this post with such brightness, optimism, and – as other commenters said – promise. It is echoing all the way across the world. I hope this joy reverberates in your life well beyond March 2011.

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  kelly March 5, 2011 at 22:40

  well, yeah. i’d say you just described a perfect month. last or otherwise. stomach leaps are the best.

  p.s. are you loving Life of Pi?

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• 
  Assured Angel March 6, 2011 at 11:07

  Amazing and moving! You rock! xxxxxxx

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  Leluu March 7, 2011 at 11:02

  What a wonderful post! Really happy I found your blog x

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  Selina March 7, 2011 at 11:43

  whoa…I wasn’t prepared for that. My housemate just mentioned he’d read your post and cried like a baby (I didn’t even know he was following you – how cool is that?). Just read it and head went light and my legs wobbled. You just stirred up far too many strong emotions for me on a MOnday morning! beeeeeeeeeeeeauuuuuuuuutiful. blew me away. xxx

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  Sarah March 7, 2011 at 20:28

  This is exactly how I’d spend my last month with mine. He makes me so happy, I can’t even imagine living without him. Oh, and I was super shocked to see Mister on your post. He’s adorable! I’m glad you shared him with us. And when I read your email I had a HUGE smile on my face. Will be responding shortly. Love you! xoxo, Sar.

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  Alana March 11, 2011 at 05:39

  He’s gorgeous. He clearly suits you. Smiling from my eyes to my toes on this one.

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  Sara Rose March 15, 2011 at 01:23

  Soul sister, damn I love you and you just made me openly CRY like a baby.

  (Oh and if you and Nolan suddenly perish, I’m chasing after your Mister screeching insanely “I am her SOUL SISTER! COMMEEEEERRE!”

  I want to die with a sugar encrusted smile too.

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