Here is a thing about me: I thigh-watch.
Everywhere I go I stare at thighs in leggings and thighs in jeans and thighs extending column-like from miniskirts and sundresses. I watch thighs with birthmarks and thighs with stretchmarks and the glimpses of thighs through fashionably ripped denim. I watch them fold elegantly over one another and I watch them pressed together daintily. I look at thighs that meet and thighs that don’t and thighs that barely change in thickness from ankle to hip.
I’m weird (and slightly creepy), I get it. But thighs? They are my measuring post.
On Saturday afternoon, I started crying and it took me a while to stop.
It had been a long week of late nights and work pressure and plans for a restful weekend were scuppered by having to drag myself out to IKEA on sale weekend because they messed up my delivery. Perhaps this was the straw that broke what I suppose was this very fragile camel’s back.
Firstly, this post could be endless because the types of people in this world who I don’t understand is not limited to 10. For instance, I don’t understand people who wear shorts with tights. And I don’t understand people who wear leggings as trousers. And I really don’t understand people who enjoy Brussels sprouts or those who think Rihanna is inspirational.
However, I was moved to write the following list because I have encountered someone from every single group in the last two weeks and that makes for a lot of bafflement.
1. The Button Presser
You know the ones. They saunter up and press the lift button or the traffic crossing button when it has clearly already been pressed. Because yes, the 8 of us standing here were obviously so inept and cotton-headed that it didn’t even occur to us to do this before you showed up and rescued us all with your quick and forward thinking.
Things I will miss about New York:
- Duane Reade (more specifically the fact that all the ones I encountered were 24hrs.)
- Wafels & Dinges
…to New York to meet wonderful people and eat wonderful food and have me a bit of an adventure.
I will be back in two weeks!
Stereo. 20-something aspiring bon vivant. London based. Exceptionally Nigerian. Partial to snark. My default setting is "wry". Jeans and blazers are my uniform. Landlady. Speed reader, tuneless singer, hoarder of words, drinker of Schloer; I am suspicious of most people, have zero tolerance for tomfoolery, have a vast DVD collection, worship at the altar of Al Green, own too many bottles of nail polish, have small eyes, small ears and giant hair and owe approximately 86% of my awesome to the Parents Typewriter.
Want to know more?
- +2013 (24)
- +2012 (52)
- +2011 (98)
- +2010 (62)